An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but keep those apple cocktails coming.
We’re squeezing in apples every which way now that Fall is almost here. Apple shaped ice in an apple ice bucket? I wouldn’t bat an eyelash at that. A couple of big ol’ cinnamon sticks make perfectly fine cocktail stirrers when we’re talking apples. But you’ll need a giant one to stir that punch bowl of spiked apple cider. And you’re spiking it with Apple Jack, correct? And what will you top your apple cocktail off with… bitters and shrubs (made from apples of course).
Need something a little cooler to sip from this summer? I got ya covered. So be cool. Don’t be all, like, uncool.
Summer’s made for pitcher cocktails, long icy cocktails, and when it’s really hot… beer in a glass (or just straight from the fridge). Brighten up your home bar while we’re still enjoying those long days.
Well, summer’s here. And I’m not going to complain about all this over 100° weather we’re having in Southern California. Nope. Not going to complain…
Instead I’ll use it as an excuse to sit in the pool with my flamingo drink holder. My fruit wine for the morning and my Japanese whiskey for the night (your whiskey changes each season too, right?). With a summery cocktail book in one hand, and my favorite citrus tools in the other I really won’t need much else for the next few months. Ok, maybe some boozy hot fudge sauce. That’s a must.
All Dad wants to do is drink good booze, read about some booze, and he doesn’t want rose gold barware. And maybe a steak. Actually, yes, grill him a steak too.
Want to surprise Dad with something new? Well, how about the best American Brandy sampler you need in your liquor cabinet right now? And don’t try and slip in some chintzy jigger you scored at the airport on the way to see him. Cocktail Kingdom now has gunmetal black bar tools: the manliest of the manly. Oh but he’s that manly? Well, just get him an Opinel knife. You can zest, cut, and I don’t know what else with this knife…cut down a tree to make a barrel? Books? Yes, Dad wants books. About booze.
This year for Mother’s Day, give her what she really wants: a couple bottles of Prosecco and for you to leave her alone.
Why have Mom choose just one little black number when she can have a black, grey and white choice (of Prosecco, that is). A dash or two of bitters into a flowery tumbler will make for a delicious road soda on the way to brunch. Give her a few cocktail pins to hold her scarf in place and away you go! And after all the kids have gone, all she wants to do is soak in a giant daiquiri bathtub and slather wine on from head to toe. Don’t we all?
One week from tomorrow it’s OK to carry around a riding crop and wear a helmut in public. Be prepared. Get bourbon.
Leave those tiny silver cups at home, we’re feeding a crowd. And by feeding I mean drinking a giant silver punch bowl filled with Mint Juleps. So get your Maker’s Mark, and a commercial ice crusher, and if you have the time, grow some mint! Or, you could just fake it and add in some mint simple instead. Stir it all up with some wild horses, and please, gentlemen, use a napkin.
Forget the picnic basket. Break out your wooden 6 Pack Holder and head outside for Spring Entertaining.
Throw out your sad winter blues and put some springy color into your bar and entertaining getup. Purple punch bowls? YES! Unbreakable green tumblers? Double yes. And if we’re packing up to head outside, let’s all agree to leave our heavy metal pineapples at home and sip on some lightweight dayglow ones instead. What’s in mine? Some lemon spiked gin all the way from Italy, and probably some pineapple ice cubes too. Rainy spring day? I’ll be hanging up some punchy booze art until the sun peeks out again. Happy Spring everyone!
What’s more sexy than your booze dripping in hot red wax? This year we’re skipping the bubbles and getting down to business.
Box of chocolates? Lame. Dozen roses? Done that! How about a dozen jelly shots? YASSSS! And nothing says I care like his & her flasks filled with something boozy and delicious. Except maybe having a bedside hangover remedy ready first thing the next morning. Staying in this weekend? Break out your finest pineapples and don’t forget the stirrer pizazz. But first, let’s scrub that pucker up with a good ol’ Mint Julep. There’s more than one way to enjoy a drink!
Come Christmas morning, I have to admit, I find the thrill of digging through a filled stocking almost more fun than opening the presents. One fun trinket after another (and there better be a damn chocolate orange in there). And yes, I may be in my 30’s but I still get a stuffed stocking. This year, fill your loved one’s with booze.
Just because the gift is small, doesn’t mean it’s cheap. A personal crystal shaker? Yes please and thank you. Now a little bourbon to fill it with. And a bourbon candle for extra bourbon-y goodness. Need to take that wine on the go (to your kid’s Christmas pageant?)? Got you covered. And if you can’t finish it all, put some lips on it. Expensive, bronze lips. Stir it all up with a few choice cacti and put a sock on it.
What’s mine is mine and what’s yours is yours but let’s not use a sharpie to personalize our cups anymore.
Instead, let’s engrave our barware, and hey, even our tequila! Vodka your thing? Say Merry Chrismukkah or whatever holiday you’re celebrating this year with bright LED lights flashing all over your liquor bottle. Drink so much of your bespoke homemade gin you forgot where you live? Put your street map on your rocks glass and never be lost again! And when you’ve just got to show off with glitter, say it with a big ass custom banner.