Holiday Gift Guide: Stuff It Real Good (the stocking stuffer gift guide)

You’re going to need a bigger stocking this year.

Remember, bottles of booze fit nicely into stockings. As do magazines (about booze), gummy bears (filled with booze) and cocktail kits (for making booze). Up your cocktail party cachet with some boozy playing cards, and don’t forget the fancy glassware! Pineapples are still a thing, so throw a couple of shot glasses in that stocking. Infused ice cubes fit too! And maybe a key chain that yells I like fancy drinks!

1. Cocktail Hour Playing Cards 2. Fancy Drink Key Chain 3. Ardbeg Uigeadail Single Malt Scotch 4. Pineapple Shot Glasses 5. Imbibe Magazine (click for more details and a super subscription price!) 6. Stainless Steel Cocktail Picks 7. Homemade Gin Kit 8. Baby Champagne Gummy Bears 9. Saturn Rocks Glass 10. Veuve Clicquot Paris Arrow Bottle 11. Vincent Bartender’s Hand Salve 12. Hot Toddy Cocktail Kit 13. Herb & Lou’s Infused Ice Cubes


Catch up on all the gift guides here!

Low Rent Cocktail of the Month: Shark Toof

Low Rent Cocktail of the Month: Shark Toof // stirandstrain.comDid you know there are only 23 days left until Shark Week?! Because this is a thing! Get the foam fins ready! Set your DVR to record whatever programming will be on! Make… a cocktail!!!!!

Low Rent Cocktail of the Month: Shark Toof // stirandstrain.comIn the spirit of made up holidays and network cable’s ability to hype just about anything, this month I’m priming you with the exact kind of cocktail you need to watch sharks turn into zombies and then rip apart other sharks and then talk about shark feelings. July is right around the corner folks, so let’s do this! Low Rent Cocktail style!

Low Rent Cocktail of the Month: Shark Toof // stirandstrain.comSo you spend more time in front of the t.v. and less time in your home bar/kitchen/beach themed utility room, this drink helps you out by starting with a Starbucks run. Depending on where you live, you can either make the base vanilla, or if you’re feeling pretty tropical that day, coconut cream. And since I like to feel tropical every day, you’re going to spike that with a hefty dose of light rum.

But what about the sharks?!

Low Rent Cocktail of the Month: Shark Toof // stirandstrain.comTo truly enjoy your shark viewing experience, get out the bag of blue gummy sharks and let those guys dive right into your drink. Feel free to use a cocktail pick for your harpoon.Low Rent Cocktail of the Month: Shark Toof //

1 small (“tall”) vanilla or coconut blended beverage (get whipped cream and stir that into the drink too)
2-3 ounces of light rum, such as 10 Cane Rum
handful of Gummy Blue Sharks

  • Your choice: throw the rum into your plastic cup and add the sharks, or if you’re feeling fancy, pour it all into an oversized Margarita glass and have your sharks swim on top.

The Low Rent Cocktail series is an occasional column on Stir and Strain where the boundaries of “good taste” are pushed to the limit, or more often than not, pushed out the window. Enjoy at your own risk.

Low Rent Cocktail of the Month: Candy Corn Shooters

Low Rent Cocktail of the Month: Candy Corn Shooters //

Hey kids! This months Low Rent Cocktail is a layup. That Halloween party you threw Saturday night? You’re going to have one rager of a hangover Sunday morning. The solution: more booze. And candy. Candy is always the answer. Just before you passed out into oblivion I bet you tossed a bunch of candy corn into an almost empty solo cup of vodka. Well, that sat overnight and turned into a magical elixir… of candy corn syrup… that you can shoot back and start your day. Ok, first you need to take off that Vampira makeup. Or are you still in your Teen Wolf costume? Either way, this drink is going to put things back into perspective.

Maybe next you should go find a chili dog.

2 oz. of Vodka or any clear spirit
small handful of candy corn

Toss the candy corn into the vodka and let that sit overnight, or at least 4 hours. The candy should have broken down at this point, so give it a stir, and toss it back.

It’s a thick, syrupy, candy corn flavored elixir. Unless you plopped your candy corn in some rum, then it’s going to be rum and candy corn flavored. You get the idea.

Low Rent Cocktail of the Month: Candy Corn Shooters //

Happy Halloween everyone! If you need some monster-inspired music, check out the #songaday selections on my Twitter.

Cocktails will resume in November!

Low Rent Cocktail of the Month: The Lohan

The Lohan - Low Rent Cocktail of the Month// stirandstrain.comMy younger sister could not be more different from me. We just look at the world from very different perspectives, and neither one of us is bothered by this. She was always the more social of us. The keg-stand, bar brawling, woo-hooing kind of partier. I had John Waters, photography and my own bottles of liquor I didn’t feel the need to share with anyone else. My distaste of beer during my high school years ostracized me pretty immediately from a lot of our peers (when I say younger sister, there is a less than a two year difference between our ages so there was some overlap with friends). And when they branched out from beer, that was pretty much to concoctions based around Southern Comfort and soda. When I think of my sister and cocktails, I think of this drink.

The Pop Rocks here are added for sensationalism. You know what they do? They SPIT IN YOUR FACE when you add them to this drink. That’s so young Hollywood starlet of them. Stand over the glass and try it. To me, this is also a super girly drink. My sis would swig this down, and then maybe punch a guy out for not holding open a door for her. The name and drink are also inspired from an Instagram conversation I stumbled upon. Local bar La Descarga, for their monthly Tiki night, created a list of drinks based on red-headed beauties like Lucille Ball and Jessica Rabbit. And punctuating the end of that list was Lindsay Lohan. A line from another follower summed that up with … “I thought a lohan was a red headed slut and coke”. What a perfect name for a Low Rent Cocktail. And perfect ingredients, Some SoCo and Coke. The coke here taking on a double meaning. Clearly. The Lohan - Low Rent Cocktail of the Month//

So, for the Low Rent Cocktail of the month, I present the Lohan.

2 oz. Southern Comfort
3 oz. Coca-Cola
half a packet of strawberry pop rocks, or more if desired.

In a double rocks glass filled with ice, build the drink by adding the Southern Comfort first, then coke. Perhaps stand back a ways as you pour in the pop rocks. They will explode a bit.

A sugary strawberry explosion in your mouth. That is what you get with the Lohan.

My sister could probably party Lindsay Lohan under the table. Right now she can’t because she’s about to give birth to her first child. But even pregnant she’d rip the drink right out of Lohan’s hand and pour it over her head if she felt disrespected. Actually, she’d probably just do it because the opportunity was there. The original title to this post was just going to be “A Red Headed Slut and Coke”. I didn’t name it that simply because I knew what kind of traffic that would have brought in. Large numbers, but misdirected. Stayed tuned for the Holiday Editions of the Low Rent Cocktails, promising to bring shame to you who imbibe them.